Eulogy read by Antony

Neil was born in Tunbridge Wells on the 8th June 1943. As a child he moved to Liverpool and hence his support for Liverpool football club,before coming to back south live in Sanderstead , Surrey. At the age of 11 he started at the Whitgift School in  SouthCroydon, famed for its numerous sporting alumni.
From there it was off to the Battersea College of Advanced Technology, studyingcivil engineering from 1962 -65. It was here that he quickly met Valerie and they were together forever more. They got married straight after college, their primary possessions being two overdrafts!At college Neil had taken up rowing and nearly made it to the Olympics in a rowing pair. Despite the rowing live bands were order of the day every Saturday, first jazz then blues and he and Val danced the night away, and we all know how Neil loved a dance
After college he worked and lived in Reigate,then Walsall working on the M6 ,on to Marlow, Cranleighand Rudgwick before finally finding his rural idyll : his beloved Morgans Green Cottage.
In 1980 Neil went to Nepal for 2 years working on a road through the foothills of the Himalayas. This was a part of his working life he truly loved and any free time was spent walking up mountains.
At 52 he was offered early retirement and jumped at it with open arms. Much talk is made nowadays of finding a good work : life balance – Neil was 25 years ahead of the trend . Not being one to sit idle, Neil’s concept of retirement was very different to the conventional. In his youth he had contemplated studying and working in agriculture but some wise parental guidance had steered him away from it. Now his moment came. One season helping out in a lambing shed led to 15 years of working on the farm. Lambing, calving, tractor driving , repairing and building -his “can do, have a go approach” meaning everything was possible. Everyone loved working with Neil, especially the students that came to the farm at busy times – he always had a great connection with the younger generation. They particularly enjoyed his catch phrases : When things were going awry the worst he would mutter would be “streuth” or “Gordon Bennett” , but most of the day all we heard was “ the jobs a good un” and of course , echoing from every corner of the farm,“Marvellous”
Throughout the 90’s Neil spent most of his weekends sailing and racing on the boat the 1st of April – he loved it and all the many friends that he made through sailing. His boundless energy meant that if he wasn’t on the boat or the farm he was out running or walking.
After he left the farm he spent most of his time gardening and took great pride in producing all the fruit and vegetables that he and Val needed – which only further re-affirmed my long held belief that the character Tom in the tv show “The good life” had been based completely on Neil
He and Val spent their holidays having great adventures- climbing Kilimanjaroand other mountains and numerous walking holidays. Most ordinary folk would need a holiday to recover from their sort of holidays.
Family was absolutely everything to Neil and he was so very proud of his four children and nine grand children. Whilst Neil came across to us all as carefree and happy go lucky most of the time his depth of love and care for his family became very apparent as soon as there were any problems within the family circle as he would then be a different person ,worrying over any issues the children might face and determined to resolve them
In later years he seemed to have a series of illnesses after he and Val were trampled by cowswhilst out on a local walk.In the last 6 months Neil became very ill, yet out on his walks put on a brave face and wasn’t going to grumbleabout his condition. His last wish was to die at home – which he did with Val and all the children sitting with him on 9th March.
I think I would be speaking for many other people when I say thatNeil was undoubtedly the most cheerful, positive and enthusiastic person that I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. An irrepressible smile was always his greeting. You can be sure that even in the extraordinary situation we find ourselves in today, Neil would have found the funny side to it. His lovable mild manners added to his charm. The only times that I ever saw him get cross about something was when he sensed other people had been dishonest – a true reflection of his own stringent moral compass. Neil, to put it in your own terminology, you were marvellous.

Neil - Bev and Ian
 
Friends like Neil come along once in a lifetime; to lose one of those very special, much-loved friends leaves a large vacuum in our lives.
 
Neil was so many things: a proud family man; a lover of adventure and the great outdoors; a true sportsman; a man with an infectious love of life- the very best of friends. But also the kindest, most cheerful, caring, honest, fun-loving, popular man, whom Bev and I have been fortunate to have known for nearly 50 years.
 
On First of April Neil made a huge impression on the younger members of the crew, who loved him for his great sense of fun and adventure and for his kindness and consideration towards them. “The nicest man I have ever met,” one such member commented.
 
Neil was always the one to offer help wherever it was needed- in the galley, at the top of the mast, under the keel- always the first to volunteer, never complaining.  He was a wonderful role model for the young.
 
We will miss Neil’s infectious laughter, his “have a go” approach to life, his wonderful enthusiasm and great sense of fun. Every New Years Eve Neil would arrive for our Riotous Celebrations, clad in his kilt, ready for action- and we all know he was better-looking and a better dancer than Mick Jagger!!
 
Oh we will miss him; the world is a poorer place without Neil.

Music for reflection - Suzanne

My brother - Jean 

 
  My Brother was the best
My Brother was kind , loved the peace of the countryside but also knew how to party.
He was quiet he was load sometimes completely bonkers and very enthusiastic.
Growing up with him was an adventure.At a young age we camped in our Parents garden, raced dinky toy cars down home made tracks, build dens ,climbed trees.We swam distances in the sea on our own thanks to our parents trust in Neil to look after me.
He often got us into trouble though, one idyllic summers day our Granny kindly took us for a picnic but we spent the afternoon chasing her with cow poo on the end of a stick-she never took us again.He often chased me with mud, spiders, buckets of water, happy times.
Everything was done at speed, His pride and joy was his first car a rusty unreliable Sunbeam  talbot . We sped down narrow lanes once with me on the running board holding a can of petrol with a tube going somewhere to the car ,I really don’t know why but it didn’t slow him down.
Later Colin and I enjoyed walks with Neil,Valerie and the Family.Reaching the top of a mountain there was always just the next one to climb.When Colin and I ran out of steam we had to endure Neil’s so called short cuts-by name only.
Latterly we have loved having him on our boat and we have had some fun holidays skiing with him.Neil was an enthusiastic skier he would tackle any slope we suggested.His aim was to get from the top to the bottom as quick as possible,no style, often on one ski arms waving.We would keep clear for our own safety and keep behind him for our amusement.
I will keep these memories forever and I hope you will too.
How lucky I am-my Brother was the best.

Our Dad read by Zoe

Dearest Nelly –I’m so sorry not be here today but I know you would have said, ‘Kirsty, its only a funeral’.
On our last walk together, you told me to always have a giggle in life, to not take things too seriously and then a rainbow came out and we stood and looked at it for a while, as Pebbles sniffed something she shouldn’t have. And our last conversation was about a party, you asked me if we’d danced, and I said yes, we had, and then you asked me if everyone had had fun. And I said, yes, we had.And truly, its been wonderful.
And sometime soon, when the sun is out, and we can all be together again, the party will continue and I will raise a glass of Whisky Mac to you, my lovely, gentle, Pa.
Love Gertie xxxx

 
My dad may not have been the conventional dad, with his crazy dress sense, humour, dancing and general behaviour but he was the best. I always felt he would be there for me, if I needed him, which I often did. I loved how he clearly adored my children and was such a good male role model for them.
I have many funny stories to tell of our time together but have decided to save them for another time.
 I was honoured and privileged to follow his wishes and care for him with my mum daily the last few months. This was such a special and close time with him which I will always treasure.
It was lovely making him feel just a little bit better by massaging his feet , putting lip salve on his lips , stroking his hair whilst he dozed , holding his hand and one of my favourites having a group hug whilst we helped him stand.
Today, whilst walking his dog, Pebbles, in the beautiful sunshine, I was reminded of how he regularly asked me to promise to look after her for him and even more so, the love of his life, my mum. This is a promise I will never break.
Nelly, I will miss you so very much but know you are up there somewhere keeping an eye on us all and no doubt having a good laugh.  Love Zoe xxx

Letter to Neil from Val , read by Zoe

  
 Dearest Neil,
From the start, when your 1933 Austin 10 broke down on the way to our wedding, our time together was always different. You never ceased to surprise me – even having to organise your funeral in the middle of the corona virus!
 
Thank you for 57 years of happiness, laughter, mad adventures and always fun. Who will I have to get up and dance with on the kitchen floor when certain music plays now?
See you on Leith Hill to remember the lovely times
Love always
Val

Farewell music by lone piper